stop glorifying your suffering

hi friend,

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” - Haruki Murakami

There are two mentalities that we find ourselves stuck in when it comes to improving our lives.

The Suffering Mentality 

Something a lot of us struggle with and it looks a bit like this:

You stay stuck in the pain, replay what went wrong, and tell the story of how hard things are to others, and to yourself, over and over again.

The struggle becomes a strong part of your identity. And without realising it, you start to need it.

Your brain believes that if you're not suffering, you’re not even trying hard enough.

This mentality builds a relationship with pain that keeps you small.

The Growth Mentality

You acknowledge the pain, don't bypass it or pretend it isn't there.

Instead, you refuse to live inside it.

Questions to ask yourself:

What is this teaching me?

What's the next step?

How do I use this?

The growth mentality teaches you to use the pain as information and feedback.

As humans, we are wired to choose short-term pleasure over long-term growth.

Our brains are brilliant at keeping us comfortable and terrible at reminding us that comfort and progress rarely live in the same place.

So we choose the familiar suffering over the unfamiliar growth.

We hold onto the story of what happened because letting go feels like loss.

We keep replaying the bad performance because it feels safer than believing we're capable of better.

Short-term, staying in the suffering feels easier.

In the long-term, it’s detrimental to your overall performance.

Pain will find you, that part is not up for debate.

Injuries happen, losses happen, failure happens and grief happens.

Life will hand you moments that bring you to your knees and there is nothing wrong with feeling that fully.

Suffering is what happens when we choose to stay there.

Mental performance is about learning to move through the hard parts with intention, with self-awareness, and with the belief that growth is always available to you on the other side.

The shift from suffering to growth is a daily decision.

And it starts the moment you stop making your pain the headline of your story.

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are 2 ways that I can help you:

1.  1:1 coaching to transform your mindset, perform better, and thrive

2.  Workshops to help you unpack mental performance tools and techniques

everything on here: www.mattermentalperformance.com

love always,

deveshi x