conditional happiness

hi friend,

“Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want.” - Naval Ravikant

today’s newsletter post is about a topic I’ve battled with a lot growing up, especially in my teenage years.

it’s about conditional happiness.

“In psychology, conditional happiness is the idea that happiness is dependent on certain conditions or circumstances.”

also called the “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome.

• I’ll be happy when I graduate.

• I’ll be happy when I land my dream job.

• I’ll be happy when I earn X amount of money.

• I’ll be happy when I achieve (insert specific goal here).

we’ve all been guilty of this: voluntarily delaying happiness based on perceiving a desired future outcome.

this is a disastrous trap we find ourselves in. We’re always looking for the next outcome that will bring us joy and fulfilment, when we should be feeling that way right here, right now.

if you’re stuck in a constant loop of “waiting”, you’re assigning your joy and fulfilment to a future outcome; something external that hasn’t transpired yet.

external validation will never give you internal satisfaction.

keep chasing the shiny objects, and you might just end up losing yourself in the process.

is it worth it?

waiting.

waiting to feel loved.

waiting to feel joy.

waiting to experience fulfilment.

when you can choose to shift in a single moment.

here’s a fun exercise for you to try out this week.

think about 2 versions of yourself:

the 8-year-old you and the 80-year-old you.

the 8-year-old is eagerly waiting to grow up and experience more of the world.

the 80-year-old wishes they could go back in time and enjoy every moment while it lasted.

life is happening in between those two versions.

right now.

stop delaying happiness by chasing things. Instead, create it yourself.

love always,

deveshi x